“Let there be light.”

-God / Enny

Enny’s been working on studio signs for Studio FGT and Studio RTD that turn red when a show is recording.

That was one of the first things I was asked when I first started working here. Hell I wasn’t even full time at that point, but back in early 2019 that was the question posed to me. Now it didn’t come out of nowhere. They were planning a branded segment featuring Manscaped and the “fun” idea they had was to see which of the three dudes in the booth had the longest pubes. Whoever did would win a BRAND NEW RAZOR, which is a lot like gifting the smelly kid in class a pack of deodorant, but that was their way of showing appreciation I guess.

I, along with Josh Potter and Nadav (rest in peace 🙏), each went into the little bathroom we had at the old LA studio and yanked out a single pube that we then taped to an index card. However, I, being the healthy young 28 year old I was, had quite a fertile bush with strong roots so yanking proved to be a bit difficult. I quickly realized a tool would be required. Naturally you’d assume I’d use the razor we were competing for. You know the one specifically designed for cutting pubes? But I’m the second smartest guy at YMH for a reason. I opted for a plastic knife instead. After some light sawing, which felt more like playing the world’s girthiest violin (ladies😉), a single strand came loose. Well maybe several strands, but it got the job done!

After some hemming and hawing on the show, the Main Mommies came to the obvious conclusion that I was the owner of the longest pubes in the office. In hindsight I never really considered the repercussions of broadcasting the insulation situation of my sausage and scrotum to thousands of Mommies (or bringing it up again here), but I’m sure it won’t bite me in the ass when I eventually run for President. I still have that razor to this day, although I never did use it for its intended purpose (ladies😉). Good razor though.

Think I’m making this up? The proof is in episode 496 (but all you girls that ride till death knew that already I’m sure)

-Chris Larson, Lead Editor

Last week we told you about a certain someone who absolutely trashed the men’s toilet at Studio Jeans and then LEFT. You voted on who you thought the culprit was and most of you couldn’t be more wrong.

We were shocked to find out the culprit was SNL’s own Jim Breuer. We get it, recording an episode Your Mom’s House can blast a turd out of anyone (looking at you, Tom), but to leave it unplunged in the bowl is a savage move.

Blueban (aka Nadav, RIP) prepped this clip for Episode 439 and titled the file "Using Lung Infection as an Instrument." Tim and Christy lost it. Classic jeans material. 👇

In classic Ari fashion, I received his segment very last minute. I thought it would be an easy addition to the newsletter, but then I scrolled…. and scrolled… and scrolled. The piece was so long I decided build a whole separate page for it to spare anyone who doesn’t want to read a singular email for 15 minutes.

Shit talk aside, it’s a really cool story about his adventure trying to get into Nicaragua. Ari’s a neat dude. He came to one of my band’s shows in Austin and is always down to hang out with the YMH staff. Last summer he took us all to Franklin’s BBQ where we got drunk in line and then we all jumped into Deep Eddy, one of the best swimming spots in Austin.

Anyway, read Ari’s story here.

-Heather, just some broad

Hey you guys! With Winter on the way out and the Summer heat creeping in, I'm always reminded of the importance of hydration. It also helps that I'm employed by the Water Champs and surrounded by cans of the stuff 5 days a week. Speaking of which, get a load of this guy I found in the wild. He could give the Water Champs a run for their money....also how does one acquire this build?

-Cougar

Episode one of The Fancy Show gets you closer to the mystery man than you or I thought possible…or even wanted.

From the first few notes of the minute-long musical intro, which features the 2006 pop hit “Glamorous” (your copyright god has no dominion here) played over a montage of Fancy’s indulgent “celebrity-chef” lifestyle, The Fancy Show announces itself as something completely different. Tthis is not your typical podcast, but what else could you expect from the enigmatic internet chef that has taken the restaurant industry by storm.

The Set

Nestled on a set reminiscent of an Ikea showroom, Fancy sits front and center flanked by two plastic Majesty Palms and joined by his guests Antonio (Fancy’s manager/former fan/content maestro) and Mandi (restaurant general manager). The first thing that jumps out to you is the mid-2010s webcam video quality, a bold artistic choice in a growing video landscape, but one I believe makes the bold proclamation “Our content will speak for itself." And speaking of… well– speaking, it seems as though hearing the guests speak was not high on the list of priorities for Fancy and co.

The Conversation

Now, how do you innovate in such a crowded entertainment space? Well if you’re Fancy Chef it’s simple: you flip the podcasting format on its head by having your guests interview you. Truly incredible stuff. Topics sporadically jump between the origins of Fancy – who’s Navy Chef father and home cook mother sparked his love for food at an early age– and Fancy dissecting his recent fame and virality. The catalyst for that virality, according to Chef, was the creation of his now infamous Ranch Strawberries. “I knew it was different, something nobody had done before” says Fancy who claims the clip garnered an astonishing eight million views in thirty seconds, leading to a meteoric rise in notoriety and attention from the likes of Druski and our very own John Segura. 

From there, Fancy touches on his cooking process (or lack thereof), his various pit stops in the industry, and a sincere congratulations to his followers for being a witness to his content. Yes, you read that right, take some time to let the humbleness waft over you. In perhaps the strangest turn of events however, Fancy and Mandi delve into a six minute debate on the race/class of restaurant clientele in which Fancy claims black people don’t tip and declares if you’re from the projects, not to contact him for gigs. Yikes, I’ll spare you the details.

The Verdict

By the end of episode one, I was in a state of shock. Perhaps a result of the painfully abrupt ending in which Fancy responds to requests to put his culinary skills on display for the haters, “no” he cooly responded. Or perhaps it was a result of the CapCut branded endcard that the editor failed to remove; either way, The Fancy Show affected me in a way I didn't think possible. It’s like a car crash you can’t look away from. If I were to put it in movie terms, I would say The Fancy Show has more in common with The Room than Casablanca. As a piece of stand-alone content, there’s an argument to be made that this is one of the brashest displays of avant-garde podcasting we’ve ever seen. Obviously, I won’t be making that argument, but it is there for the discussion. In reality, this show plays out less like a podcast and more like, as one commenter put it, a “45 minute hostage video.” I give it 2/5 strawberries. 🍓

A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy class gets up, moves to the first-class section, and sits down. The flight attendant checks her ticket and asks her to return to her seat in economy.

The blonde replies: "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto, and I'm staying right here."

The flight attendant tries to get her to move but the blonde refuses to budge. Finally, the pilot says, "I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde. I'll handle this."

The pilot walks back, whispers something in her ear, and the blonde immediately gets up and goes back to economy.

Stunned, the crew asks what he said. The pilot replies: "I told her first class isn't going to Toronto."

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